Customer

Big sale, I think I can walk out of here with a new bed under $350.  I want a queen, not too firm but not that temprasomethingorother shit.  This one looks nice, $370, made of soy, available in queen, wait what? Made of soy?  They make tofu beds now?  Huh?  Well it's not squishy like tofu, but still a little to soft for my taste.  Next.  Too small.  Too big.  Too expensive.  Here's one.  On sale for $310, made in the US, available in queen, let's try it.  No way, too stiff.  Oops, missed the sign that said extra firm, my bad, moving on.  No.  No.  Nope.  No.  No.  Maybe?  $35o, new design for optimum back support, available in queen.  This sounds pretty good, let's try.  Wow, this isn't half bad.  Not too soft, not too hard.  I feel like Goldilocks but this may be just right.

Escort

Who needs a desk when a bed is your office?  Life is easy, sleep all day, party all night, fuck, sleep in, and repeat.  People think I'm nothing but they have it all wrong.  They're nothing, I've just figured out the system.  I don't need to buy a bed when I sleep someplace new every night.  I get paid to sleep around and all I have to do is fake it.  You always have to fake it, don't get attached. The only thing I'm attached to are these hotels.  Nice rooms, clean sheets, big beds.  Isn't it great? No 9 to 5 for me.  I have it made.

Homeless

Where am I going to sleep tonight?  I just overheard that they are closing down the park for renovations.  Now the gates are locked and the back entrance is boarded up,  shit.  I was starting to get used to it over there,  I fit perfectly in one of the nooks in the playplace and it was great shelter from the wind and snow.  I could go to the shelter, but I have to get there by five and I don't think I can get back from the health clinic by then.  Shit what am I going to do?  There is supposed to be a blizzard tonight.  Maybe I can go underneath the Gates Bridge, I think I have some buddies who still live there... I guess I'll have to check it out.  

Big Boy

I don't know about this big boy bed.  It seemed really cool earlier today, but now its a lil' scary.  Why can't I sleep with Mommy and Daddy and still play in my race car during the day?  That sounds good.  Yeah I like that idea.  Cause it is sooo cool.  I have my own race car!! But at night, my room gets all scary and my closet grows eyeballs.  Mommy says they are just doorknobs but I know they're staring at me.    I really don't like it in here, not one bit.  I'm going sneak into Mommy and Daddy's bed.  Maybe if I'm really quiet they won't notice...

Hotel Hopper

Not bad, the Hilton last night was better but this will do.  It's a little short, must be a California King.  Crisp yellow linens, green down comforter, way too many pillows for one, seems about right, or at least I think?  It has been what? One month since I was here last?  That's hmm twenty something beds in that time, I'm pretty sure I stayed in this room last time.  Never can be sure though.  They all start to look the same after a while.  A bed is a bed right?

Camper

We've gone what forty miles today?  Another five and we can stop and make camp.  I'm exhausted already, I can't wait to curl up in my sleeping bag and spend another night out under the stars, nothing beats it, nothing.  Well maybe my king sized bed under the stars would beat it after the way these roots have been treating my back, but this ol'sleeping bag will have to do. She is smelly and dirty and warm and has been home for the past six weeks.  I don't even know how I will be able to sleep on a normal mattress after this, Delilah and I have grown quite close... 

Husband

It has been eleven days, she has to want some of this,  I look good tonight.  Oh yeaaa I do.  Oh no, she has the flannel pajamas on, this is going to be a challenge.  I know, I'll PRETEND I don't want to do anything but that will just make her go wild.  She's gotta want a piece of this, who doesn't?  Are those the? Crap, this is going to be harder than I thought, she is wearing the granny panties.  What to do what to do...?