Husband

It has been eleven days, she has to want some of this,  I look good tonight.  Oh yeaaa I do.  Oh no, she has the flannel pajamas on, this is going to be a challenge.  I know, I'll PRETEND I don't want to do anything but that will just make her go wild.  She's gotta want a piece of this, who doesn't?  Are those the? Crap, this is going to be harder than I thought, she is wearing the granny panties.  What to do what to do...?

Wife

Finally they are asleep, I didn't know if I was ever going to get Michael down.  I'm exhausted, I just want to go to bed, I'll clean tomorrow... or maybe I'll suck it up and have Marie come over.  I can take her passive aggressive bitching for twenty minutes if she just cleans this mess.  I leave to go grocery store for less than an hour and the place turns into a pig stye.  Thanks Ray, you are a big help... Here he comes.  Oh crap, I know that grin.  He is not getting any.  No how, no way.  We had sex last week, he can wait.  I know, I'll put on the granny panties and my oversized flannel pajamas, that will keep him away.  Hopefully...

Insomniac

What the fuck?  I need to go to sleep I have a test tomorrow at 8:00.  If I fall asleep now I can get in five solid hours, that's legit.  Okay, sleep.  Shit.  Why is it that no matter how comfortable this bed is, I can't seem to get this pillow right? Uggggh!  I hate calc.  Who needs it anyway?  And what is up with this 8am bullshit?  People should not need to be awake that early in the morning, never mind be awake enough to take a test.  FUUUUUUUUCK my paper is due tomorrow too! SHIT SHIT SHIT.  Okay I'll wake up at 7:00 go to class, take the test, go to lab, go to work, then go to the library.  I wonder if they will let me skip work?  SHIIIT.  Fuck finals week this is ridiculous.  How do they expect me to finish 7 papers take 5 finals in less than 2 weeks?  I feel like college is harder than it used to be and professors don't remember what it is like to take 6 classes and have 2 jobs and be involved on campus.  WHY IS THIS PILLOW SO FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE?! UGGGGGGGH.  

It is 6:50 and the sun is already out, how did I waste the whole night?  I just want to go to sleep and now I have to get up... fml.

Lost Lover

He is never going to kiss me again and he's never going to hold me again.  He isn't going to change the channel from TLC to ESPN anymore and I will never find his dirty socks on the bathroom floor.  He isn't going to make fun of my rotten cooking or tell me I'm beautiful when I take off my makeup before bed.  

I miss finding his dirty socks on the floor.  I miss having to fight for blankets in the middle of the night because he's a blanket hog.  I miss waking up to him in the morning and falling asleep in his arms every night.  I miss creeping out of bed to brush my teeth so he can't smell my morning breath and I miss feeling safe when I go to sleep.  So I will sleep on the couch because that is our bed in there.  That is our bed and he is gone.  And it is cold, and it is empty, and it is not mine.  

All Nighter

I'm exhausted I just want to go to bed.  Pulling two all nighters in a row was a bad choice.  I miss my bed.  I miss curling up under my sheets and the bajillion throw blankets.  When I was working on my paper last night I sat at my desk because I knew that if I got in bed it would be all over.  It is just too damn comfortable.  It is like it was saying "Come lay on me, you won't regret it..."  Now I'm regretting NOT listening to it.   What I would give for this class to be over...  I just want to go back to my dorm and go to bed.  Hell it doesn't have to be my bed, any bed will do, I just need sleep. 

Billy Collins' Schoolsville

I rarely leave the house. The car deflates
in the driveway.

Why does the mayor never leave the house anymore?  Has his role as leader and teacher ceased?  Do the townspeople no longer need him?  Rarely do they come to visit, but maybe he can still help the D student applying lipstick at the drugstore.  Perhaps the mayor believes his work ended in the classroom, but a teacher's work never ends because we never stop learning.  The enthusiastic student will never stop asking questions and the boys in the back of the classroom may need more guidance even after summer vacation rolls around.  Yet the mayor remains in the house, quizzing the chandelier and lecturing the wallpaper.  For a teacher's work is never over, and their spirit for teaching still burns after their students are dismissed to the world.  

10 Alternate Terms for Place

position

put

lay down

location

venue

destination

setting

realm

spot 

area