Customer

Big sale, I think I can walk out of here with a new bed under $350.  I want a queen, not too firm but not that temprasomethingorother shit.  This one looks nice, $370, made of soy, available in queen, wait what? Made of soy?  They make tofu beds now?  Huh?  Well it's not squishy like tofu, but still a little to soft for my taste.  Next.  Too small.  Too big.  Too expensive.  Here's one.  On sale for $310, made in the US, available in queen, let's try it.  No way, too stiff.  Oops, missed the sign that said extra firm, my bad, moving on.  No.  No.  Nope.  No.  No.  Maybe?  $35o, new design for optimum back support, available in queen.  This sounds pretty good, let's try.  Wow, this isn't half bad.  Not too soft, not too hard.  I feel like Goldilocks but this may be just right.

Escort

Who needs a desk when a bed is your office?  Life is easy, sleep all day, party all night, fuck, sleep in, and repeat.  People think I'm nothing but they have it all wrong.  They're nothing, I've just figured out the system.  I don't need to buy a bed when I sleep someplace new every night.  I get paid to sleep around and all I have to do is fake it.  You always have to fake it, don't get attached. The only thing I'm attached to are these hotels.  Nice rooms, clean sheets, big beds.  Isn't it great? No 9 to 5 for me.  I have it made.

Homeless

Where am I going to sleep tonight?  I just overheard that they are closing down the park for renovations.  Now the gates are locked and the back entrance is boarded up,  shit.  I was starting to get used to it over there,  I fit perfectly in one of the nooks in the playplace and it was great shelter from the wind and snow.  I could go to the shelter, but I have to get there by five and I don't think I can get back from the health clinic by then.  Shit what am I going to do?  There is supposed to be a blizzard tonight.  Maybe I can go underneath the Gates Bridge, I think I have some buddies who still live there... I guess I'll have to check it out.  

Big Boy

I don't know about this big boy bed.  It seemed really cool earlier today, but now its a lil' scary.  Why can't I sleep with Mommy and Daddy and still play in my race car during the day?  That sounds good.  Yeah I like that idea.  Cause it is sooo cool.  I have my own race car!! But at night, my room gets all scary and my closet grows eyeballs.  Mommy says they are just doorknobs but I know they're staring at me.    I really don't like it in here, not one bit.  I'm going sneak into Mommy and Daddy's bed.  Maybe if I'm really quiet they won't notice...

Hotel Hopper

Not bad, the Hilton last night was better but this will do.  It's a little short, must be a California King.  Crisp yellow linens, green down comforter, way too many pillows for one, seems about right, or at least I think?  It has been what? One month since I was here last?  That's hmm twenty something beds in that time, I'm pretty sure I stayed in this room last time.  Never can be sure though.  They all start to look the same after a while.  A bed is a bed right?

Camper

We've gone what forty miles today?  Another five and we can stop and make camp.  I'm exhausted already, I can't wait to curl up in my sleeping bag and spend another night out under the stars, nothing beats it, nothing.  Well maybe my king sized bed under the stars would beat it after the way these roots have been treating my back, but this ol'sleeping bag will have to do. She is smelly and dirty and warm and has been home for the past six weeks.  I don't even know how I will be able to sleep on a normal mattress after this, Delilah and I have grown quite close... 

Husband

It has been eleven days, she has to want some of this,  I look good tonight.  Oh yeaaa I do.  Oh no, she has the flannel pajamas on, this is going to be a challenge.  I know, I'll PRETEND I don't want to do anything but that will just make her go wild.  She's gotta want a piece of this, who doesn't?  Are those the? Crap, this is going to be harder than I thought, she is wearing the granny panties.  What to do what to do...?

Wife

Finally they are asleep, I didn't know if I was ever going to get Michael down.  I'm exhausted, I just want to go to bed, I'll clean tomorrow... or maybe I'll suck it up and have Marie come over.  I can take her passive aggressive bitching for twenty minutes if she just cleans this mess.  I leave to go grocery store for less than an hour and the place turns into a pig stye.  Thanks Ray, you are a big help... Here he comes.  Oh crap, I know that grin.  He is not getting any.  No how, no way.  We had sex last week, he can wait.  I know, I'll put on the granny panties and my oversized flannel pajamas, that will keep him away.  Hopefully...

Insomniac

What the fuck?  I need to go to sleep I have a test tomorrow at 8:00.  If I fall asleep now I can get in five solid hours, that's legit.  Okay, sleep.  Shit.  Why is it that no matter how comfortable this bed is, I can't seem to get this pillow right? Uggggh!  I hate calc.  Who needs it anyway?  And what is up with this 8am bullshit?  People should not need to be awake that early in the morning, never mind be awake enough to take a test.  FUUUUUUUUCK my paper is due tomorrow too! SHIT SHIT SHIT.  Okay I'll wake up at 7:00 go to class, take the test, go to lab, go to work, then go to the library.  I wonder if they will let me skip work?  SHIIIT.  Fuck finals week this is ridiculous.  How do they expect me to finish 7 papers take 5 finals in less than 2 weeks?  I feel like college is harder than it used to be and professors don't remember what it is like to take 6 classes and have 2 jobs and be involved on campus.  WHY IS THIS PILLOW SO FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE?! UGGGGGGGH.  

It is 6:50 and the sun is already out, how did I waste the whole night?  I just want to go to sleep and now I have to get up... fml.

Lost Lover

He is never going to kiss me again and he's never going to hold me again.  He isn't going to change the channel from TLC to ESPN anymore and I will never find his dirty socks on the bathroom floor.  He isn't going to make fun of my rotten cooking or tell me I'm beautiful when I take off my makeup before bed.  

I miss finding his dirty socks on the floor.  I miss having to fight for blankets in the middle of the night because he's a blanket hog.  I miss waking up to him in the morning and falling asleep in his arms every night.  I miss creeping out of bed to brush my teeth so he can't smell my morning breath and I miss feeling safe when I go to sleep.  So I will sleep on the couch because that is our bed in there.  That is our bed and he is gone.  And it is cold, and it is empty, and it is not mine.  

All Nighter

I'm exhausted I just want to go to bed.  Pulling two all nighters in a row was a bad choice.  I miss my bed.  I miss curling up under my sheets and the bajillion throw blankets.  When I was working on my paper last night I sat at my desk because I knew that if I got in bed it would be all over.  It is just too damn comfortable.  It is like it was saying "Come lay on me, you won't regret it..."  Now I'm regretting NOT listening to it.   What I would give for this class to be over...  I just want to go back to my dorm and go to bed.  Hell it doesn't have to be my bed, any bed will do, I just need sleep. 

Billy Collins' Schoolsville

I rarely leave the house. The car deflates
in the driveway.

Why does the mayor never leave the house anymore?  Has his role as leader and teacher ceased?  Do the townspeople no longer need him?  Rarely do they come to visit, but maybe he can still help the D student applying lipstick at the drugstore.  Perhaps the mayor believes his work ended in the classroom, but a teacher's work never ends because we never stop learning.  The enthusiastic student will never stop asking questions and the boys in the back of the classroom may need more guidance even after summer vacation rolls around.  Yet the mayor remains in the house, quizzing the chandelier and lecturing the wallpaper.  For a teacher's work is never over, and their spirit for teaching still burns after their students are dismissed to the world.  

10 Alternate Terms for Place

position

put

lay down

location

venue

destination

setting

realm

spot 

area

Write a recollection (either lamenting or yearning) of your place.  Background Rodney Jones' "Hubris at Zunzal" until 1:20pm

To travel to another place with the flip of a page.  The library opens doors for all those that enter.  A place of study, a place to eat, socialize, escape, or reconnect, there are no limits.  The library offers endless opportunities within four walls.  Books, magazines, computers, librarians, coffee, students,  quiet floors, teachers, classrooms, redbull.  Silence and laughing, writing and reading, teaching and learning.  Those who enter the frosted double doors can either do so to escape from it all or explore the world.   Anything is possible in the library.

litany

i really liked collins' take on the love poem.  he has a sense of humor and makes his thoughts on traditional western love poetry known, it is a bunch of bs and really doesn't mean anything.  comparing your lover to random "lovely" things just shows you think they are lovely or pretty but what does that say about the actual love you have? not much. these comparisons just make the affection displayed shallow and ungenuine.  be real!  

procrastination

i don't know why but i never learn to NOT procrastinate.  every semester starts out strong, i'm on top of my homework, sometimes even ahead, and then it starts... "oh, i'll do it later."  later seems to always turn in to the night before, the day of, the hour before class and i'm screwed.  blogging has been especially hard to not procrastinate.  i think the ease of the assignments, the accessibility of the internet, and the flexibility in due dates has just made this paper the easiest paper to put off until tomorrow.  i don't know why but it seems that the convenience of the assignment has made me procrastinate.  no one likes 10 page papers double spaced due at 8am, but maybe its the painful requirements that serve as the kick in the rear to actually do it.  talk about irony...

stalking

everyone has/does/will stalk someone else.  we're all creepers, we just aren't always open about it.  this exercise was interesting because it forced us to be critical observers.  we became the predator mentioned in the poem dr. lay read in class, carefully and purposefully observing our surroundings and our prey(subject).  the exercise was designed to strengthen our observation methods.  good writers must be good observers to correctly portray whatever it is they are writing about.  the metaphor portion of the exercise had us thinking outside of the box which is useful in writing.  it is much more interesting to paint a picture using metaphors than tell the reader exactly what you see, allow your reader to use his or her imagination. 

Music

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swAXnznn2wg

for all of you who thought mike and i were crazy in class the other day, i thought i'd share one of the songs we were listening to.  i hope you enjoy : )

I could use another cigarette
But don't worry daddy, I'm not addicted yet
One too many drinks tonight and I miss you
Like you were mine

All your stormy words have barely broken
And you sound like thunder though
You've barely spoken
Oh, it looks like rain tonight and thank God
'Cause a clear sky just wouldn't feel right.

[CHORUS]
He's taken and leaving
But I keep believing
That he's gonna come round soon
(He'll come round soon I know)
You may be my final match
'Cause I chase everything when you play
Throw and I play catch
It never took much to keep me satisfied
But all the bullshit you feed me you miss me
You need me
This hungry heart will not subside

[CHORUS]
He's taken and leaving
But I keep believing
That he's gonna come round soon
Until I see him again
I'm staying believing
That it won't be deceiving
When he's gonna come round

Well I may seem naive if I cry as you leave
Like I'm just one more tortured heart
These cracks that I show as I'm watching
You go aren't tearing me apart
I may seem naive if I cry as you leave
Like I'm just one more tortured heart
These cracks that I show as I'm watching
You go aren't tearing me apart

The angels said I'd smile today
Well who needs angels anyway?

[CHORUS]

my own blog

sooo after posting for these past couple weeks i'm wondering if i will continue blogging after this assignment has been completed.  i went home over thanksgiving break and talked to my friend russell about his blog entitled shrubscan'trun.  i however, thought he said chubscan'trun, which got me thinking... maybe i should start a blog about my progress for my half-marathon training and title it chubs can't run.  thoughts? 

4. The Experientialist Perspective

My subject was Tom Eddy.  He is about 5'7'' and weighs around 150 pounds.  He has black hair and light skin.  He donned a brown plaid jacket over a white shirt with black stripes.  He also wore jeans and glasses.  Tom sat in the basement of the library comfortably, with his legs crossed.  

Tom was participating in the same activity I was.  I do not know who his subject was but he kept his gaze behind me, interchanging observation and writing.  He spoke to a couple of the students who were filming because he participated as an actor in addition to completing the assignment Dr. Lay assigned.  

I already  know Tom so I was not surprised with my observations.  He is quiet and did the work assigned as he usually does.  He is also polite and kindly participated in the filming when asked.

stickiness

The authors define stickiness as:

"Our interest is in how effective ideas are constructed — what makes some ideas stick and others disappear."

Post a two-paragraph blog entry that contemplates stickiness.  First define stickiness in your own terms.  Do you agree with the Heaths?

okay... what is stickiness?  well that question didn't stick, i had to keep looking at it which forced me to copy paste it on this blog soooo what is stickiness? stickiness is the level of sticky something is, like a post it note has a lower level of stickiness than super glue.  dr. lay probably does not want that for an answer.  what is stickiness? shit, i have typed that three times and it still hasn't stuck.  haha pun, funny stuff.  

anywho, stickiness.  stickiness is when ideas just stick.  the hansel and gretel commercial was sticky.  the stupid long panteen commercial was sticky.  the former was arguably better, and more entertaining, but it was not necessarily stickier.  why is that? i don't know.  maybe the level of obnoxiousness plays into the level of stickiness.  the more obnoxious the more you remember it.  think about it, things that annoy you tend to linger, which inherently makes them more annoying.  i couldn't get that stupid song she was playing out of my head for an hour after the commercial.  even a month and a half after watching the commercial for the first time i still remember it well.  it stuck.  but WHY?!

the heaths make some valid arguments but they act more as guidelines.  like the kiss method... keep it simple stupid.  don't over complicated things and you have a better shot at people remembering them.  keep it simple, short and sweet. play on people's emotions.  whether you made them laugh, cry, scream, or bitch about how annoying it was, you have tapped into their feelings.  that's my recipe for stickiness.  at least literary stickiness, i also have a good recipe for craft paste but that is for another time.

el perrero

body language matters.  as cesar's interactions with the dogs and their owners clearly displays, what you say nonverbally can have more of an impact than the actual words you use.  dogs pick up on everything humans do, but they don't speak english, or spanish, or any human vernacular.   dogs may understand what a certain word means for training purposes, up, no, treat, lay down, etc. but they can't understand a conversation two people are having word for word.  they can however, figure out if people are fighting, are laughing, are sad, etc. by their body language.  

 it is the tone of the situation that dictates how dogs will respond.  similarly, the tone in a piece of writing can greatly impact how the reader responds to the piece.  i wonder what the equivalent to body language is in writing.  is it the materiality of the piece?  the grammar?  the structure?  it clearly isn't the actual content of the piece, it is what is behind the words, the subtleties of the writing that constitute the body language.

Peter's Questions for Stitch Bitch

2. Why can't the producer of "Stitch Bitch" reveal herself/himself, in one appearance?

clearly it is because she is a schizophrenic and has multiple personalities.  she should really work on that before publishing confusing crap on hypertext without actually explaining WHAT HYPERTEXT IS.  maybe the author should figure out who she is so she can figure out what hypertext is and stop messing with her readers' minds. how am i supposed to take you seriously if you don't even know who you are?  silly shelley shelley/mary shelley/crazy person.

multiple personalities can make for a more interesting piece of writing or multiple pieces of writing. perhaps shelley shelley writes differently than mary shelley, i don't know.  but how can i take you seriously as a figure of authority on whatever you are writing about if you can't even tell me who you are?

stitch bitch questions

what is a hypertext?

what is jackson's purpose in writing this article?

who is this impostor the writer refers to at the beginning of the text?

how is the impostor relevant to hypertext?

why was this article assigned?

where does jackson get her metaphors for hypertext?

stitch bitch

Read Shelley Jackson's "Stitch Bitch" and blog your reaction to it. 

http://web.mit.edu/comm-forum/papers/jackson.html

okay so i read the article and i still have no idea what the hell i'm supposed to write or what i was supposed to get out of that crap.  jackson's article is wordy, annoying, confusing, and just plain sucked.  i have no idea what her introduction is about or who this impostor is or even why it is relevant to the following stuff on hypertext.  what the hell is hypertext anyway?  according to my handy little widget dictionary, hypertext is "a software related system that links topics on the screen to related information and graphics, which are typically accessed by a point-and-click method" what does that have to do with jackson's article?  i have no clue! maybe class will clear things up, but for now i am at a loss.

Questions

Did Collins' intend to mock western love poetry?

Is Collins' poem a love poem?

Does Collins want his readers to laugh?

Was the object for comparison/subject of the poem actually the inspiration for Collins' metaphors?

Plagiarism, Collaboration, Inspiration?

when musicians jam together, collaborate, build off of one another, are they plagiarizing? can artists create something real without being inspired?  nietzsche makes the claim that knowledge is built from multiple perspectives, "there are no facts, only interpretations."  lethem cites blatant forms of plagiarism that have been major contributers to current pop culture and the literary world as a whole.  would someone be bold enough to say that shakespeare is a cheater?  he basically ripped cleopatra straight from plutarch's life of mark antony and to my knowledge, did not include footnotes in any of his plays...what does that mean?  where is the line between artistic license and plagiarism? are we as a society ready to forfeit the creation of art to protect copyrights...  or are copyrights actually protecting artists? i would argue that the more lawsuit crazy we are, the more art is inhibited... what do you think?

Twain on Blogging?

It is no use to keep private information which you can’t show off.

An Author’s Soldiering, 1887

An author values a compliment even when it comes from a source of doubtful competency.
Mark Twain in Eruption

is mark twain right?  is there use in keeping a private journal?  have blogs eliminated the need for leather bound journals?  the feel is different.  writing online doesn't feel the same as writing in a journal.  pen in hand is different than keyboard at fingertips.  but my journal i can close and hide, i can't hide my thoughts and feelings once i blog about them.  it is public.  it is online.  the WORLD WIDE web.  maybe that makes writing better, maybe that makes it worse...

everyone loves getting notifications on facebook, compliments on their pictures, compliments on their blogs.  does it matter if the source is incompetent? not really.  the internet is great for feedback.  sometimes positive, sometimes negative, not feedback is feedback right?  it seems like everything online now has a response section.  nytimes articles, recipes, blogs, facebook, myspace, they all have space for feedback. i wonder what mark twain's blog would look like...  i bet he would rip apart our blogs, that would be interesting...

Plagiarism

i was accused of plagiarism my freshman year in high school because i was the only person in class who worked on the assignment instead of watching the superbowl the night before it was due.  how is that fair?  we are requested to submit our papers to turnitin.com which to me is just a slap in the face.  many professors don't give their students the benefit of the doubt but instead assume they will plagiarize until a website says they aren't.  there is a reason why our justice system is founded on the premise of innocent before proven guilty, why doesn't the world of academia follow suit?  the argument that students plagiarize so they HAVE to use systems like turnitin.com is bullshit.  just because SOME students plagiarize does not mean that i do nor does it mean that you should assume every student is guilty of such until a website justifies our claims of innocence. 

at&t

this was a good commercial.  hats off to the marketing team who came up with it because not only did it catch my eye when i was flipping through the channels but it caught my teacher's eye enough to have her show it to the class and start a conversation about it.  one could interpret the commercial in a variety of ways but what it comes down to is simply that it's just an ad.  it's just a company trying to sell you their product.  were they successful?  maybe.  i am not going to go out and buy the phone but i do remember the ad and the visual images they wanted to leave me with have been imprinted in my memory.  

Assignment 1

so here i am at hofstra, and i am blogging.  writing online makes me feel stupid.  well let's clarify, writing online doesn't make me feel stupid, creating a blog and posting does.  primarily blogs are devoted to bitch sessions and tend to create unnecessary drama.  i prefer one on one, human to human interaction.  NOT computer to computer. i guess i take that back to some degree, i enjoy iming but that is a live dialogue, not posting something to vent and having people respond later.  in my political islam class the professor brought in one of his colleagues to lecture on blogging in the middle east and how it has drastically increased awareness of human rights violations occurring in the area.  while i understand and respect bloggers doing positive things, it still doesn't motivate me to create my own blog.  i didn't journal before i had a computer so why would i now keep an online public journal?  i have friends who have kept blogs about experiences they were having ie. road trips, environmental challenges, work out challenges, etc. to keep people up to date on their progress.  as sad as it may be, i don't think anyone would care much to know about updates on my half-marathon training so why bother maintaining the blog about it?  i just tell the people who ask, isn't that enough?  is it cocky to think that what you are doing is worthy enough for a website or that whatever you are doing is actually interesting enough for someone to go out of their way to read?  not everyone is your mom.  not everyone cares.  perhaps this is just too pessimistic but i wonder how many students in this class would have created a blog if their grade did not depend on it...